The Courage to Be Vulnerable

A few nights ago I went and saw Davis Sedaris live. And gosh, it was amazing. I adored every bit of that night, but a part that is particularly prominent in my mind is when he said something along the lines of:

“Every time I write something people are mad, so I thought I’d write something that gave people a reason to be mad.”

I was astounded by the level of vulnerability. 

I’ve been having a lot of issues coming up with vulnerability lately. There is so much within me that I want to release, but every time I go to write I think “What if someone I know sees this?” 

Which stops me from writing about sex, love, bad memories, and my family, and mistakes that I've made, and nearly anything that has any meaning. 

Why do I feel so much shame? 

I don't want to write anything that would make people upset. 

I don't want to write anything I wouldn't want my family to read.

But I know that this is keeping a part of me locked up. 

When I listen to music that talks about sex or abuse or anything that isn't sunshine and daisies, I immediately start thinking about how that singer’s mother would react and how I could never do such a thing. 

But, if they didn’t write that stuff, they wouldn't be able to create to their highest potential. Or release what needs to be released. 

What if Taylor Swift never wrote about her relationships? We would be missing out on so much. 

I feel so scared to be vulnerable. Absolutely fucking terrified. 

But I also know vulnerability is where beautiful things are born. 

Being brave isn't being fearless. It’s being scared, and doing the scary thing anyway”. 

I want to be doing scary things. 

What does that even look like?

Publishing poems that people are going to hate. 

Writing about sex and shame and mistakes. 

Being vulnerable. 

Having humility. 

Letting go of everything else. 

It is a bravery to be vulnerable.